Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Fuckin' up yer Halloween part 2

First of all, Part 1.

Then, check out last year's Halloween posts.

Lastly, I'll be doing a gloriously satanic show for Forte this week. Lots of pagan and satanic black metal, old school shit like Helloween, and tons more. Tune in Friday night 11pm to 2 am.

Now then, here are 5 more films that you should probably watch sometime this week, if you're not a pussy.

1. Suspiria, 1977
Wow, what a crazy fuckin' movie. Like a zombie flick on acid (except with witches instead of zombies.) Not only one of the best horror films of all time, but probably one of the best films period. Plus, that soundtrack...Dario Argento is probably one of the first directors to literally sit around thinking about ways people could die that would make the average person cringe by relation (for example, getting bashed to death on the edge of a table in his earlier film 'Deep Red.')

2. Netherworld, 1992While more of a dark suspense movie than a horror film, this is still a Full Moon picture (notorious for their 'what the fuck' series 'Puppet Master') and I watched it a couple weeks ago, and therefore it belongs on this list. It has something to do with Cajun black magic and there's something about a cult of bird people too...I dunno...it held my attention at least. It's good if you're a little bit too much of a sissy to enjoy the bloodier horror films.

3. Nightbreed, 1990
Based on a novel called "Kabal" by Clive Barker, this is one of those titles you'd think would be reaaaallll cheesy, but it's not really at all. It's got some truly bizarre scenes and great costumes. Plus it's all about how monsters are really cool and you should want to be one. Fair enough.

4. I Drink Your Blood, 1970
Remember when pretty much EVERY horror movie was 'loosely based on the Manson family murders?' Me either...a little bit before my time...but I've probably seen the good majority of 'em. This one puts them all to shame. Try this plot on for size: A bunch of drug-crazed, satan-worshipping hippies roll into a really small town (that's in the process of being moved a few miles away due to water contamination? Or something?) and their hippie van breaks down. So, they have satanic rituals, terrorize the locals, and give a a young kid's grandfather acid. To get back at them, the young kid gives them meat pies with rabid dog blood, turning them into RABID, drug-crazed satanic hippies. Hilarity/violence ensues. The effects and acting aren't even that bad to boot! What the fuck? Go see this movie now.

5. The Wicker Man, 1973No, not that bullshit remake with what's-his-stupid-name. This is the original mindblowing film. Whereas 'Suspiria' is ONE of the best horror films of all time, this is probably THE best horror film of all time. You know how Burzum is way scarier than all those fake satanic metal bands, and they don't really talk about anything except pagan shit like nature? This movie is like that. There's no (well, VERY little) actual bloodshed, and the main characters are a seemingly friendly island of pagan folk. However, this movie will creep the hell out of you. There is nothing else like it, and it's so perfect that I can't even understand why some butthole would want to remake it. Watch the original, pretend nobody ever fucked with it, and have a good Halloween.

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